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Ramadan not your favourite month? This is why that’s OK
Ramadan, the month of fasting has once again greeted us, but it’s not always a welcome guest for all. There is so much hype around being perfect in Ramadan, making great food, being chirpy and feeling so spiritual. People talk about how much worship they get done, how many pages of the Qur’an they read, how they are on a spiritual high and how much they will miss Ramadan when it passes. But what if you’re not one of those people? What does that say about you? Absolutely nothing in my opinion. Ramadan is meant to be a struggle – it’s meant to be tough. You don’t have to love…
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Dissociating due to anxiety? Here’s how to tell.
What do you do when you’re overwhelmed? If you’re anything like me you tend to ‘not deal’ with uncomfortable emotions. I slip away to the far corners of my mind and try to lose myself in anything else other than reality. It turns out that dissociation/avoidance is a common coping technique. We push unpleasant thoughts out of our mind. It could be triggered by something someone has said that reminds us of our past or by a stressful event that is currently occurring in our lives. I go blank. My brain goes blank. To be honest, I didn’t even know I was doing it until years later. I didn’t know…
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What do your thoughts say about your relationship with your Lord?
How does your internal conversation go when you’re feeling down? Are there any repetitive negative thoughts or ideologies that you’re holding on to? Is there ever any blame attached to Allah? Be honest, this isn’t a place of judgement, but it is a place of truth. When we feel low we may find ourselves engaging in unhelpful intrusive thoughts. Part of these thoughts may include how fair we believe Allah to be. We may think we are being punished or that Allah doesn’t love us even though we are trying. Not only does this type of thinking not aid us on our healing journey, it also negates one the Names…
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Feeling weak? Here’s how I know you’re more resilient than you think!
Have you ever had one of those days when pearls of wisdom just seem to rain upon your head? Well, this is one of those days for me,and here’s the message: you are more resilient than you give yourself credit for. To be human is to err and screw up, but being human also means to keep fighting until you stop breathing. It’s called survival and we all have it. Even if it’s buried deeply. Your natural instinct is to fight, it’s programmed within us, hardwired into our cells that fight to heal us. We start off as children with an imagination as big as our hearts. Nothing stops us…
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Why hanging on to your hurt is affecting your relationships
Have you ever paid attention to what happens if you hold on to something for long enough? It gets heavy, it starts to affect you in different ways. If it’s internal, it can make you physically sick and ill. It’s the same when it comes to your emotional and mental health. Thoughts are energy, energy needs somewhere to go. Think of a can of fizzy drink, what happens when you shake it and then open the can? When we allow ourselves to go back in time and touch upon painful memories which we then try to will into the present, there is so much energy being emitted; except that it’s…
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15 ways to increase self-love for Muslims!
The mind, truly is a wondrous place. The amount of complex thoughts generated is a miracle. They say you can’t begin to heal until you accept you have a problem. I knew I had a problem, I just never knew what it was, or perhaps with my bad memory I just oft forgot. Today however, I remembered and the truth hit me right between the chest. I’ll not be dramatic – it didn’t wind nor crush me, but it did leave me speechless. I have little self-love. After all these years of trying to heal I still don’t have much. Weighed down by guilt, anger, bitterness and pain I struggle…
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How to manage loneliness.
I’ve struggled with loneliness a lot in my life – feeling like I had no one to share my pain with, no one to comfort me or even just be there with me throughout it all. It is truly a horrible way to feel, but it’s not true. You see, our minds go to some very dark places when we feel low and shaytaan would have us believe things that are false. Sometimes it’s our mentality that needs to change, our outlook can make all the difference to our mental health. Being lonely is a state of mind it isn’t a fact like being alone and that’s the first thing…
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Learning how to forgive others
Learning how to forgive others may be one the hardest skills I have learned. There’s this guilt isn’t there? This mentality of a good Muslim forgives and so if you don’t you can’t be a good muslim. Sure, forgiving a minor thing is relatively easy, but what about when this person stripped you of your self worth and identity? What about the rage? Isn’t forgiveness the same as just saying what they did is OK? Let’s break this down slowly in sha Allah. Firstly, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FORGIVE! Wanting justice for yourself isn’t haraam! It is better to have patience and forgive (for your own peace and soul) but…
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Am I worthy of Allah’s love?
One question that has reverberated inside my head for a long time is: Am I worthy of love? Through each hardship that left me feeling insecure and lonely I questioned whether I was being punished by Allah. Does Allah love me? I bet that’s crossed many people’s minds, not just mine and not just yours. I reasoned He must not, because if Allah loved me why did people not treat me fairly, why did I feel this way? The truth is, this feeling of not being loveable doesn’t come from us, it comes from other people. It’s their labels that they attach to us, it’s their baggage to carry, not…
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Living in the moment
We’re always chasing, aren’t we? Chasing after materialism or self growth, chasing after happiness, love, perfection or anything else we think we should have. We don’t don’t let it come to us naturally, we chase. In these moments when we are driven by the fear of missing out or not being good enough, we miss the real moments of our lives. We miss the small things we could take joy in: the clouds, smell of coffee, nature and our children’s laughter. What would we happen if we just stood still and watched quietly? If we looked for joy in the present moment and not in the past or future? And…
